Perfectly Imperfect
by WinterSky101
Summary: A WtNV fanfic. Cecil and Carlos are the couple of Night Vale. But every relationship, no matter how perfectly imperfect, has flaws. Cecil/Carlos.
**Because Cecilos is always important, and there has not been nearly enough in the show recently (although Carlos was in the latest episode so that was good).**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own WtNV.**

* * *

Cecil and Carlos are _the_ couple of Night Vale. Everyone knows about their relationship, thanks to Cecil's tendency to overshare on the radio - it drives Carlos insane, but at the same time, he can't help but be a little impressed that Cecil manages to do it without ever getting in trouble. (Carlos only drew the line when Cecil, post coitus, mumbled that the town would _love_ to hear about this. Carlos managed to convince him the town would have to be disappointed.) And, considering both Cecil and Carlos are town celebrities, citizens tend to get fairly obsessive over their relationship, which is a bit unnerving but normally harmless.

But every relationship, no matter how perfectly imperfect, has flaws. Little things, like how Carlos (according to Cecil) chews a little bit more loudly than would be preferred, and how Cecil (according to Carlos) leaves the kitchen a complete mess whenever he decides to cook. There have been times when dates have been forgotten and Cecil has passive-aggressively mentioned it on air, and there have been times when boundaries have been crossed and Carlos has locked himself in his lab for days. Still, most of the little flaws are exactly that - little. They're not enough to threaten the stability of the relationship.

Until, of course, they are, and it leads to what might be one of the biggest fights in Night Vale history. It's a no-holds-barred, screaming-and-crying, anyone-passing-by-the-house-could-hear-their-voices-because-they're- _that_ -loud fight, the likes of which Cecil and Carlos have never had before.

It starts with a canceled date. Carlos has been working on a project for two days and is still no closer to being done with it, and it's time-sensitive enough that that's a problem. So he calls Cecil while he's at the radio station and asks if they can please postpone their date for that night. And normally, that wouldn't be an issue. The fact that he actually called instead of just forgetting that the date existed would be a plus, and he and Cecil would put it off - which is easy, considering it isn't a fancy one that requires a reservation or anything - until Carlos' project is finished.

Only Cecil's day has been stressful and long and he watched two interns die and the thought of having a date night with Carlos was the bright point he was looking forward to at the end of the day, and now even that's gone. So, Cecil vents about this the best way he knows how - over the radio. Which wouldn't be a problem, except the radio broadcasts to the _entire town_.

And Carlos listens to the show, of course - he really doesn't have a choice _but_ to listen, considering he still can't figure out how to turn off his radio - and it paints him in a pretty poor light. Which he thinks isn't really all that fair, considering he called Cecil to give him warning and this is the first time in over two weeks that he requested to postpone a date, unlike how he was in the beginning of their relationship, postponing or forgetting about dates left and right because he hadn't ever had to think about that sort of thing before. So Carlos thinks that it's pretty unfair that Cecil's blaming him for everything, and not only that, but blaming him for everything _publicly_ during his radio show that's broadcast into every house, car, or building in all of Night Vale.

So when Cecil drives over to Carlos' lab after the show instead of going home - which he _knows_ was a bad idea but does anyway - tensions are running pretty high. Rationally, they both know they're blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Carlos should just explain why he can't take time off his experiment at the moment, and Cecil should just explain why he was looking forward to the date so much, and they should come up with a compromise. But, when Cecil enters Carlos' lab with a falsely casual air, neither of them is feeling very rational.

The fight starts with terse comments ("So, what's more important to you than me?" "I'm working, Cecil, so if you could leave, it would be appreciated.") and quickly escalates into sharper, pointed accusations ("You care about science more than you care about me, your _boyfriend_ , don't you?" "Well, science isn't likely to paint me as the worst boyfriend in existence when the entire town can hear."). Before too long, the shouting starts.

"What's so special about your stupid research?" Cecil demands angrily. Carlos' shoulders are tense as he continues his experiment, not allowing himself to turn around and look at Cecil.

"It's time-sensitive, Cecil, as I explained many times before. Which means I need to finish it as soon as possible." Carlos' voice is carefully controlled, which is more indicative of his anger than yelling would be.

"Why can't you just accept Night Vale the way it is and stop doing your stupid science with it all the time?" Cecil shouts. "Why does everything need to fit in with your stupid science rules?" Carlos lets out a low, irritated growl.

"Cecil, this town is not normal. There is nothing about this town that is normal. And those 'stupid science rules' govern the universe, which means that something that doesn't follow them is really screwed up. Case in point, this town and everything in it." It's a low blow. They both know it. Carlos tells himself he doesn't care.

"Why do you need to do your stupid tests all the time?" Cecil demands, his voice loud. "Why can't you just accept that some things don't need explaining? Why can't you just leave things be? Why do you ruin everything with your stupid science?"

"Oh, are we talking character faults now?" Carlos demands, his voice nearly matching Cecil's in volume now. He whirls around to face Cecil. "Why can't you ever keep anything to yourself without mentioning it on your goddamn radio show? Not everyone needs to know all about us. We can keep some things to ourselves. I don't need Old Woman Josie to congratulate me every time we cross a milestone in our relationship. The relationship is supposed to be between us, not the entire town. Which it would be, if not for your stupid show!"

"Well, I'm _sorry_ ," Cecil shoots back sarcastically. "People like hearing the stories about us! People like hearing about _you_ , Carlos, and my job as a radio professional is to tell the people what they want to hear. And they want to hear about you, because they all love you! I don't see why!"

And that's the moment when the fight has finally gone too far. The insults pointed at science and Cecil's show are insignificant compared to this. Carlos feels as if the earth underneath him has shifted and left everything a little off balance. Cecil wants to take it back and tell Carlos he didn't mean it but has no idea how.

"Get the hell out, then," Carlos growls in a low voice that's honestly worse than any shouting. He stalks over to the door and flings it open with so much force the whole house seems to shake. "Get the hell out of my house and _don't come back_."

Cecil musters up as much dignity as he can as he stalks out of the lab, slamming the door shut behind him. Carlos feels tears in his eyes as the sound reverberates through the room. Cecil is gone. Carlos has driven him away. He leans against the door for a moment, sliding down to the floor when he feels his legs won't support his weight anymore.

Cecil manages to keep himself together until he leaves the house. As the front door closes with an awfully final-sounding thud, the first tear falls. Once in his car, it takes Cecil four tries to put the keys in the ignition because his hands are shaking so much. His tattoos, which are currently curled around his forearms, are a mix of red and blue - anger and sorrow.

Carlos doesn't get much work done that night - his hands won't stop shaking and tears keep blurring his vision.

Cecil only manages to drive halfway back to his house before he has to pull over - the tears have made it impossible to see.

Neither one of them sleeps well that night.

* * *

Cecil on the radio the next day sounds professional. Emotionless. He doesn't mention the fight once. Which, of course, is the problem, considering it's Cecil. Not that Carlos notices. He most definitely doesn't notice. After all, if his comments about Night Vale were a little out of line, Cecil was the one who took off running and left the line in the dust. Carlos feels as if the entire dynamic of his relationship with Cecil has been irrevocably shifted by that single implication that Cecil perhaps doesn't love Carlos anymore.

Rationally, he knows it was probably a remark said out of anger. After all, Carlos said things he didn't mean during the fight. He loves Night Vale, against all odds, and he was lying through his teeth when he called it screwed up, just trying to get a reaction out of Cecil. He understands that people say things they don't mean when they're angry. He knows that, he does. He's a _scientist_. He knows a lot of things.

But the one thing he's never truly understood is human interaction. Carlos is absolutely _horrible_ when it comes to communicating with people. And he's even worse at reading their emotions on their face or in their words. He didn't really believe that Cecil's declarations of affection were real until he heard the way Cecil fell apart on the radio when he was dying in the miniature city. The incessant praising of Carlos' hair could have been teasing. The very vocal desire to go on a date could have been fake. But being that upset? Carlos was pretty sure he was telling the truth. Which, of course, made him look back on everything else Cecil ever said about him and realize _oh my god he meant all of that other stuff as well_. And that's led them here, to a relationship that seems to be falling apart at the seams. Perhaps it would have been better if Carlos never put together the pieces after all.

Carlos stays in his lab. He doesn't doubt that all of Night Vale has figured out what happened, and he's pretty sure that most of them will side with Cecil over him. So he doesn't leave the house except to pop into Big Rico's quickly for a slice of wheat-and-wheat-by-products-free pizza - it's been nearly a week since the last time he had it, and he doesn't want to know what the punishment is for not having his weekly meal at Big Rico's. When there, he picks up a pizza and leaves as quickly as he can; people are giving him dirty looks and muttering, and he's sure they're talking about him. He wants to protest - _okay, so maybe I canceled a date, but Cecil implied he doesn't even love me anymore!_ \- but he knows it'll sound petty and ridiculous, so he doesn't. He keeps his mouth shut, returns to his lab, and dedicates himself to science. That's his first love, and he knows that it won't abandon him, even if it doesn't like to work properly in Night Vale.

So Carlos applies his most trusted technique when it comes to dealing with emotions - he avoids everything and everyone. He can't risk running into Cecil around town, not so soon after the fight. His emotions are still raw. He needs time to calm down.

His lab feels oddly empty without Cecil's cheery voice in the background.

Meanwhile, Cecil is employing the same tactic as Carlos - avoidance. It's significantly harder for him, considering he's got to go into work and do the broadcast. But he does it as quickly as possible - which makes everyone even _more_ worried, but he ignores their concern - and goes home.

He hates everyone's pity. Cecil normally isn't much of a fan of pity anyway, but now he feels almost nauseated by it. He's not as blameless as people seem to think he is. He knows he should have said something on the show, so people wouldn't blame Carlos, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was worried - terrified - that he would say something else cruel and cutting without thinking about it. He still can't believe that he let the implication that he didn't love Carlos slip through his lips. He loves Carlos almost more than even he himself can believe. Sometimes, the wealth of affection he feels for Carlos almost scares him. How could he tell Carlos that he didn't feel that way? How could he even insinuate that?

Cecil knows he needs to apologize. But he can't do it yet. Not when his tattoos - mostly a depressed gray mingled with an upset blue - are still threaded with an angry red on occasion when he thinks about the fight. The insults to Cecil's show, as well as the ones to Night Vale and its residents, hurt. They still hurt when Cecil thinks about them. He knows they were spoken in anger, just as his words were, but he can't get them out of his head. He can't stop thinking about them. If Carlos thinks that Night Vale and all its inhabitants are "really screwed up," as he said, then how does he feel about Cecil?

Cecil can't bear to think about it. He knows he should just ask. He should go to Carlos, apologize for what he said, and hope that Carlos apologizes in response. But, for what very well might be the first time in Cecil's memory, he doesn't trust his voice. He doesn't trust the words that will come out of his mouth.

So he stays on his couch, which suddenly feels very big and empty, and waits until he calms down.

* * *

A week passes. Carlos leaves his lab only once, to get his weekly meal from Big Rico's. Cecil goes from his apartment to the radio station and then straight back, interacting with the town as little as possible. The people of Night Vale grow worried. A group ends up flocking around Old Woman Josie's house, working together to try and figure out what exactly is going on between their Voice and their scientist. No one can quite figure it out, not with the limited amount of information they have.

Carlos wants to apologize to Cecil, to have things go back to the way they were before, but he's also too proud to make the first move. Anyway, Cecil was the one who was truly at fault (although Carlos did say many things that he regrets as well), so he ought to be the first to apologize. Carlos secludes himself, waiting with equal anticipation and dread for the moment Cecil comes to his door.

Carlos hasn't slept well with the argument hanging over his head. It's impossible for him to turn his mind off. Instead, he researches in his lab until he can't keep his eyes open, then he stumbles off to bed to sleep as long as he can. The process repeats.

Cecil can't sleep either; the bed is too large and cold and lonely. He replaces the sleep with caffeine, drinking so much coffee the interns whisper about switching him to decaf to save his heart from exploding, something that has happened before - violently and messily - in Night Vale. No one dares to do it, though; Cecil has been known to do terrible things when given decaf coffee.

Cecil thinks a lot about what to say to Carlos. He wants to apologize. He thinks he's calmed down enough to be reasonable. He wants Carlos back, and although he won't take all the blame for their argument, he understands that he needs to make the first move.

The door is locked when Cecil gets to Carlos' apartment. Cecil knocks loudly. There's no response. Cecil bangs on the door again, shouting to Carlos that it's him, that he wants to talk. There's no response. Passerby shoot him sympathetic looks. Cecil wishes he had a key to Carlos' apartment, but there's only one, and they've yet to find a locksmith who could be trusted. There's nothing Cecil can do but wait outside the door and hope.

Minutes tick by. The door never opens. Cecil finally slumps, taking a step back from the door. He gives the apartment one last look, then turns and trudges away.

Inside, on the couch, Carlos sleeps in the same place where he collapsed from exhaustion an hour ago, dead to the world around him.

* * *

When Cecil gets a call from Old Woman Josie, he doesn't particularly want to go. But she's his friend, and Cecil does feel a bit guilty about the fact that he's been avoiding everyone since his fight with Carlos. It's morning, and Cecil has nothing to do that day until the radio show that evening, so he has no excuse not to go. Gathering his things, he leaves.

Carlos doesn't want to go to see Old Woman Josie either. He's barely left his lab, and he has the distinct feeling that Old Woman Josie will be on Cecil's side of the argument, especially because Carlos hasn't had a chance to defend himself. But she doesn't really give Carlos much of a choice, and he finds himself agreeing to come before he knows what's happening. He switches out his lab coat for a fresh one, splashes some water on his face, and leaves.

Carlos gets to Old Woman Josie's house first. He knocks, but there's no answer. Which Carlos finds strange, considering he and Old Woman Josie _just_ talked on the phone to plan things.

Then he hears footsteps and turns to see Cecil, frozen in the middle of the old car lot.

"Cecil," Carlos croaks, reaching out to grab the porch railing to support himself. Cecil steps towards the house slowly, as if he can't quite believe what he's seeing.

"Carlos," he breathes. He stops at the bottom of the porch stairs. Still clinging to the railing, Carlos makes his way down the steps, standing in front of Cecil.

"I'm sorry," both men say at the same time, their voices overlapping.

"I love your show," Carlos adds desperately. "I love your show, I love this town, I love _you_ -"

"I love you too," Cecil tells Carlos. "I love you so much, my Carlos. I missed you, I _love_ you, my Carlos-"

Carlos grabs Cecil and yanks him forward. He hugs him tightly, burying his face in Cecil's neck. Cecil breathes Carlos in, pressing his face into Carlos' hair. Carlos pulls away a tiny bit, kissing Cecil with urgency. The kiss is messy, but neither of them would call it that if asked. They would call it passionate, loving, perfectly imperfect.

Inside, Old Woman Josie holds out her hand and one of her definitely-not-angels gives her a high five.


End file.
